A Human “Being”… Not a Human “Doing”

In: Family, Personal, Personal Development
A human "being", not a human "doing"

Do you ever have one of those moments where you just want to smack yourself over the head?  Yeah, well, me too.  I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but I love lists… I mean I REALLY love them.  As in, I write lists about lists I need to write.  As you can see I’m not type A at all!  Ha! Big J to the K.

The other day I realized my love affair with lists had gotten out of hand.  I had over 20 lists on the notes section of my iPhone; lists about the blog, groceries, general to-do items, activities I want to try with Baby Girl, books I want to read, and on and on it went.


I was approaching each day as a checklist of things to be done; shuttling myself and Baby Girl through our errands, tasks, and activities rather than enjoying the experience of each day.  I was creating one massive, never ending to-do list, and it was sucking energy and joy from my day.

I was focused on doing, rather than being.  Instead of a human “being”, I’ve been a human “doing”.

I tend to be task oriented in general, and now as a busy mom of a toddler it’s gotten worse.  I have two modes of operation, one at each end of the spectrum, I’m either in go-go-go mode and or total relaxation mode and lately it’s been mostly go-go-go.

At the same time, I’m acutely aware of how quickly time is ticking away and how fast Baby Girl is growing and changing.  She’s at such a precious stage and I don’t want to look back at this time and say I wish I would have cherished it more and given more of myself to her.  I realized if I continued to approach each day as a checklist, I might very well have regrets.

So now where does this leave me?  It’s definitely a shift in mindset and I know it’s not going to be easy for this constant “do-er” of things.  First off, I’m trying to give myself some slack and start making small changes.

Obviously a lot of the things on my to-do list are mandatory, but some are utterly self-imposed.

For instance, do I really need to read five books on parenting toddlers or scour Pinterest for new and creative recipes for dinner? No, probably not.

The balance of the world doesn’t exactly hang on my ability feed my family something new and exciting.  No indeed, the world will continue to spin and I doubt whether MJ or Baby Girl will be any worse off if say I only read one or two books and stick with my old standbys for dinner.

baby pool

I’m trying to focus on being present with both Baby Girl and MJ without thinking about what I need to accomplish that day.  I’m taking time to do more activities Baby Girl loves, like seashell hunting and swimming in her baby pool.

I also want to make finding a good babysitter (something I’ve yet to do here on the island) a priority so MJ and I can spend more quality time together alone, because unfortunately our dates have been few and far between since Baby Girl was born.

This also might mean I write a little less on the blog at times (especially when we are traveling), and focus more on quality rather than quantity. So if you notice a bit of a slow down here, that’s why.

But that’s just a start, and this is a work in progress (as am I).  If you have any tips for how you balance fulfilling obligations and completing your to-do list, while still being present and enjoying each day, I’m all ears!  So feel free to give me your tips and suggestions in the comments section below.

Thanks for listening (aka reading)!

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